After my mam died, a lot of people would say ‘I don’t know how you are dealing with this so well’. The truth was, I wasn’t. Not really. But I did have really good family, friends and colleagues by my side to see me through. However, what I have been realising recently is that one…
Stop it!
Stop it. Stop it right now. It is not helpful. It is not needed. It only adds unnecessary noise to an already deafening cacophony. You are not achieving what you think you are! Breathe. Let me start again. As we head into another Lockdown, we naturally want to point the blame at people, and I…
Our Bodies Weren’t Built For This.
If you are emerging from lockdown as a slender-toned, healthy eating, enlightened gym bunny, then this blog might not be for you (but don’t let that put you off reading further). If, since March, you have become a slightly slower, comfort-fed, baggier-clothes-wearing version of yourself, then welcome to my club. Take a nice comfy seat….
Adrenalin
March 2020 landed, and with it (like many) the pandemic induced ‘fight or flight’ response kicked in for me. The world was changing, chaos was reigning and as my body was taken over by a sense of ‘I’ve got to do something’ I began to take action; I wrote funding bids, I took up yoga,…
Anchor
I am slowly understanding my own manifestation of Seasonal Adjustment this time of year. As darker skies bookend the day and crisp leaves fall into mud-tinged puddles on the pavement, I can feel it. I can feel it in the same way I can the wind losing its warmth and picking up its speed. Another…
Backing Myself
Exactly 3 years ago to the day I started this blog. It was initially a way for me to widely communicate what was going on with my mam to friends and family. It quickly developed into a way to process everything that was going on for me; my fears, my wishes, my confusions and my…
And
There are so many misunderstandings when it comes to giving people equal access to what it is that they need, mainly manifesting in an attitude of ‘if you are given what it is you need, what does that take away from me?’ It does not have to be like this. Recently, LGBT awareness being taught…
I See You.
I did not know there was a Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month, let alone that it was March or that I nearly missed it! So just before March ends, here are some thoughts… It’s a little-known fact that I smile at strangers; not emphatically, but if it happens that my eyes should lock with another’s as…
Spirit
Christmas was one of my mam’s favourite times of the year (even though she would start picking up presents for people in February) and it was no surprise because it epitomised everything that she was. She got to pick special gifts for people that would make them feel special, she could bake her infamous mince…
Do not stand at my grave and weep
Exactly two years ago today, my life irrefutably and permanently changed. My mam died. Exactly one year ago, I returned to Cumbria to mark the day. My Dad, my sister, my husband and me, went for tea and cake and for a meal. We also visited the grave. I was there for less than two minutes….
I’ve Never Done This Before
Over the last 2 years, I have lost count of the amount of times I have cried uncontrollably. Come somewhat accustomed to a fever-inducing shock which makes me forget how to breathe or how to walk. Learned the bittersweet incompleteness of all new life milestones. Taken more moments to be silent. Reacted to situations in…
Because of the NHS
I have so much to be thankful of the NHS for, so on it’s 70th birthday I think it apt to give it the hip-hip-hurray and cheer it deserves, because as a septuagenarian, with all the trials and tribulations it has faced in its lifetime…it’s still looking good! In fact it’s looking great…considering. I am…
The Day the Alien Came 