Small Victories

I haven’t penned a blog for a few days now, mainly in fear of being branded a ‘keyboard politician’, a sore loser or other such titles; rightly or wrongly it seems all conversations are migrating (no pun intended) to or from the EU referendum outcome and it’s implications. So instead of trying to avoid the parallels that people could have found, I shall make them explicit, but as with many other things, the alien has forced me to look at the current UK situation from a different perspective.

Following the Brexit outcome from Thursday’s referendum, it seems like with every step the UK ground trembles beneath us; regardless of how anyone voted it is difficult to ignore that we are in a time of real political, economic and social insecurity, with whole communities not only divided but separated by hate…and it seems to be growing. Being right seems more important to some than doing what’s right and being on the winning team is more important than remembering we are actually all on the same team and only really win if every member can – if one person can’t, then we are all losing. In a time of utter instability we must be able use one another as support. A pack of cards can only create a tall pyramid when each rectangle equally leans on another, but remove a single aid and it instantly comes crashing down; all kings and queens fall to the bottom, hearts are broken, clubs are separated and diamonds drop – everyone loses. There are no winners.

The future is uncertain and it is going to take a lot of time, commitment, passion, courage, forgiveness and education to achieve anything close to resolution or unity. Unfortunately, this journey is going to be interrupted by lies, discrimination, hate, loss, blame and regret. It seems like we have just made more problems, when we couldn’t deal with the ones we already had. Again, rightly or wrongly this is BIG and for however long it takes, our minds will be focused on the big challenges, the big questions, the big rifts, the big gaps and the big wins. And whilst we must, whilst we all must turn our attention to the bigger picture, we should not forget the day-to-day small victories that are keeping us moving forward.

These small victories have been the colossal wins for the Harpers, since the alien came.  My mam is a woman who takes a lot of pride in her own independence, so being almost bed-bound in hospital has not been the most enjoyable experience for her (not that any of this has been). Almost two weeks ago she had the major operation to take primary alien #1 out and with it out went her hip, 8cm of muscle and in went a new hip, a drip, a post-op epidural and a number of other tubes and wires. As each day has passed, my mam has gotten stronger and stronger, setting herself goals and smashing them! I smiled so much when she could sit up to eat, I cheered when I saw her epidural had gone, I did an actual spontaneous air punch when she told me she was wire free and I applauded when she met her goal of walking to the toilet by herself.  These achievements are being marked by a son of his 58 year old mam…and I couldn’t be prouder! I tell everyone, in the same way I hear friends talk about their kittens or children and I don’t care because these victories need to be celebrated. My mam’s small steps are covering a lot of ground and getting her closer to being back to the woman she wants to be (even if they are not moving her as quickly as she’d like to go!) and I refuse to let them go unnoticed or uncelebrated.

Please do the same with your lives and those around you. It is not possible to achieve the big if we overlook the small.

Well done to the parents who are getting out of the house with their newborn, even if it is later than expected, to my friends who are applying for new jobs or leaving old ones to become the people they want to be, to the man who is packing up 23 years of memories to finally move into a bungalow, to the lady who is finishing off her new home to show the mothership, the family who had an enjoyable and much needed holiday in the face of awful news…the list goes on.

Celebrate them. Small victories are all around us and you wont have to look too far to find them. Whilst we look to the big, keep hold of the small; it may help you through*

*This applies to both alien invasions and EU Referendums.

For anyone who wants to know, I voted remain.For many reasons; for rights, for education, for the arts, for unity. A reason related to the alien invasion was the compassionate care that was given to my mam (and me) in York hospital, not by the UK nurses but by a Spanish nurse called Kathy. I thank you for making our NHS a better UK service.

Thank you – I hope you still feel welcome and appreciated.

I wrote a blog a week or so ago about my feelings on the Orlando shootings and unfortunately the outcome of the EU referendum is somehow granting passage for hate, with hate crime reports up 57% in Brexit aftermath. Come on, we already have enough hurt. This must stop. Again, rightly or wrongly, whether you agree with the outcome or not, this referendum should not be used to escalate unnecessary hurt. Aliens are inflicted upon us, monsters are made from our own doing. Be kind. Be united.



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